When planning my wedding, the advice I received from someone who had just had their own was, “It’s just one big compromise.”
Well, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear! But I was determined that ours wouldn’t be. I had a vision.
Step one in planning: Where would it be held, Australia or America? Okay, I see what she was saying. The compromising had started, and everyone had an opinion.
Side note, people have very strong opinions about weddings.
Ultimately, Mark and I had to prioritise what was important to us and because of this, each one was a conscious choice. These were the things we wouldn’t sacrifice for anyone. There weren’t many, but let me tell you, not everyone accepted them willingly.
“The English word ‘sacrifice’ comes from a Latin term that means ‘make sacred.’”
When we make those sacrifices, we are making a sacred choice.
I’ll be open and vulnerable with you … recently, in our Mentorship session, we were loosely talking about the topics of needing to know, needing other people to know you know, which digressed into sacrifices, and then to authorisations/certifications. Now, it’s all too much to explain how that unfolded (you kind of had to be there), and I’m not about to comment on authorisations in Ashtanga.
However, I was asked how I chose my path and how not being authorised has impacted me.
I remember the very moment I made this decision. I was walking with my mom and, at this point, I had gone to Mysore a few times and had loved my time there. I loved Sharath, the friends I had made, and the chance to practice side-by-side with my mom in that shala.
But I had just been offered a place in a three-year mentorship with Dena Kingsberg. I knew Dena was my teacher before I had even met her. I can’t quite tell you how I knew but I just did.
So, when she offered me a spot in the “compassionate practitioners,” I can’t tell you the amount of excitement and joy I felt. It was visceral. A deep calling I had never felt before. But it was also during the Mysore season. And so, I would have to choose.
Now, Dena was very clear and equally as vague as to what this three-year intensive study would and wouldn’t be:
“There is no qualification, expectation or promise that one will receive or attain any level of knowledge or understanding, only an invitation to the possibility
that some level of this may occur.
however
We use the broad spectrum of Patanjali’s brush to quieten the mind.
Other methods involved as content of this course will hold their value not only in their direct and obvious form, but more essentially, in the way you will have to extend yourself in order to embrace and integrate them.
possibly resulting
in growth
in healing
In an ability to conduct one’s self with equilibrium.
and with the basic tools required to assist in a Mysore style class
just in case
The light of yoga shines through you and you do choose to share it.”
This meant that at the end, I would have no piece of paper to show anyone, nothing to validate my hours, no qualifications after my name. If I committed to this, I would likely not become authorised anytime soon. I simply couldn’t dedicate the time, energy, or finances to both. There would be no compromise.
My decision would come with a sacrifice either way. I don’t think there was a wrong choice, but I do think there was a path more aligned with my heart than another. For myself (and I can only speak for myself), it was a choice between a safer path and a path of love.
Most of you already know which one I made. I devoted myself to those three years and have continued my relationship with Dena and Jack ever since.
I am not authorised. I have no titles. I don’t even have a teacher training certificate.
But Dena and Jack came to our wedding all the way in America. She married us. They us visit in Tasmania and we go camping together. They’re going to stay with Peg in Montana later this month. They’re family, in every sense of that word.
Has it impacted me? Yes and no. You’ll have to join me for a coffee or the mentorship to know how though.
Do I regret it? Not once.
Right before the wedding, Dena wrote to me, “Was thinking of you both on the walk. Thinking about how once you are on the path of yoga, the path of life becomes clearer. This apparent clarity gives courage to make outrageous decisions with confidence.”
I do believe the outrageous decision she was referring to was me and Mark getting married. But I think it holds true for other choices as well.
Listen to your heart with clarity and be honest as to where it’s orienting you. Make that outrageous decision. Have courage, you’ll likely need it. Accept the challenge of the path you’re on and the uncertainty you’ll face. Make the sacrifice from a place of love.
Choose accordingly.
Life is too sacred for anything less.